Thursday, May 26, 2011

Just thoughts

I love Jesus, I love to worship him, I can sit here in the office and sing and praise Him for hours.
For the last couple weeks I have just not been feeling good at all and yesterday had to miss one of the most special nights of the week to me, teaching Kids Klub. I feel so badly. God has given me so much love for all those kids and I want them to know how very much He loves them, and wants them to know Jesus as their Saviour and forever friend. They are so not alone.
Neither am I in the mist of stress, trials, and illness, I have a faithful God, FOREVER! I run to Him for refuge, He comforts through His word, I love my Bible, Ken got me such a neat study Bible for Christmas. He sends comfort through music, and through His children.
I so want everyone to know Him. It is such a time of hurting in this world, and I just want people to know that Jesus loves them , that we don't have to be a certain way, or wear special clothes, to go to church, that we can come to Him , just was we are and He will lift us up and love us.
It makes me sad when I hear people talk about others, it makes me sad when I do it also. I am praying so that the Lord works this out of my life, that the words that come out of my mouth will be ones of , love, joy , encouragement. That I would speak that way all the time to my husband and Children too, Oh how I fall short with them the most.
I wish it was instant... that I could just be changed in an instant, but it is a refining process, I have learned, sometimes it hurts, others I feel like it is slow, and sometimes I grow weary, but God doesn't stop and so I must not either.

" Lord let my faith arise,help me to be the Jen you want me to be, help me control, my thoughts, my tongue and show me how to be healthy, show me the answer to my silent petitions I lay before your feet, thank you for sending your Son to love, ME... Help me show others your love, acceptance and forgiveness. Help me be a light, salt an example of your precious son. continue to grow me, refine me and use me,In the Precious, Victorious name of Jesus AMEN"

Friday, May 20, 2011

God does give joy after tears!

I love the story of Timothy learning of the Lord from his mom and grandma, I have Christian parents so I never want to discount my dad, but having raised Chad and Chris alone, I give so much credit to my parents for who we all are today, to have put up with all the raw emotions we all went through, to have to be parents again to the boys when I was mentally and physically unable, they were GREAT and GODLY , they still are ... I myself have prayed for my boys since even before they were born and did try my best to raise them to know that Jesus loved them and that with out a relationship with Him, life would be harder and missing something, No I am not saying just knowing Jesus makes life easier, you still go through hard things, times ,losses, but you are not alone.
  I am a fixer even now with adult children I find myself wanting to fix things for them. I find myself feeling badly for what they go through feeling like some how it is my fault. I have been spending time talking to the boys about their relationship with the Lord.I am not gonna be here forever, they need to learn , and have their own strong relationship with the Living King, I can't do it for them.
Last evening for some reason I had lots of tears about them,I was able to get Chris a new Bible, as I haven't gotten them one since their high school study Bibles.. Chad found one he truly enjoys at an International Bible Givers meeting he went to with Ken, so he had  new one, and Tiff had one, and a very precious dear friend gave Christopher's Rosella a beautiful study bible .. So it was just finding a grown up one for Chris I had left to do. I was so blessed to find him one and give it to him this afternoon, to read some of it with him and have Chad join us... WOW that is what my heart has longed for . To sit over lunch and talk about the Lord and have them listen, to pray with them about the things in life they are going through and listen to the things they feel the Lord has changed in them , to hear them say ... what I have gone through lately has made me grow up and know I need to be closer to God. WOW... What joy filled my heart, and what peace as I let go knowing, I too have to trust the Lord to take care of things, kids always teach me something , I do believe that is why I love working with them even know.
  Oh how I thank the Lord for his word, the boys have decided to read Job, on their own that is what they picked, and so Monday we meet again and they will tell me about it. I told them to read it slow, and ask God to show them something out of each verse. I as always stand in awe of my Lord and thank Him, for this to some maybe a small thing, but to me it is huge. And the joy of knowing that my sons though they may walk through some hard times, will not walk it alone, Jesus will walk with them.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


This is Elliot, he is now 4 years old and he is the most precious, loving, little young man, he made Ken and I, grandma and grandpa, His Birthday will never be forgotten as he was also born on my mom's birthday, so very special to me if to no one else. I love this little man to the moon.

This is Ben, he is now 21 months old and he sealed the loving being a grandma deal, he is funny, cuddly, such a precious almost no longer baby, From  the moment I met him I was in love. His mom and dad share their children well, from the time Ben was about 6 weeks old he and Elliot would get to come spend the night with us, we got to enjoy Ben's first smile, his first laugh, and watch he and his brother become friends. Rock him, sing to him and just enjoy them both so VERY much.....

At the end of January, the boys came to stay for several weeks well mom and dad went to DC. Where Dad had been given a great job offer. Their mission to find a home in Virgina to raise there family. We had the boys through the month of February, and the night before they left was so sad, it would be the last of night time prayers, and kisses and stories for a bit of a long while.

We love skype! It gives us time to see the boys and talk with them and mom and dad, not the same as real life , but it helps so much, though we do often have a few tears every time we say good bye.
Some days it is still so raw on missing them, then I remember it has only been a few months.
God gave them to just the right mommy and daddy, they are happy, healthy and well adjusted.
We miss mom and dad too. Blending families is a different thing, and we blended older children, I so totally thought it would be a piece of cake, but with anything in life that is worth it , it has taken some work to trust, and love. I just pray now that all 6 kids know how much God has grafted them into our hearts and how we love them with such a precious love.

I love the special bond the boys give Ken and I , no one else can be us to them.To these boys I am grandpa's and he is mine. I so thank God for them daily and pray they come to know the Love of their Heavenly Father at an early age.

Love you to the moon boys forever and ever!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


So far this week I have done great on my diet, yes it is only Tuesday, but it is still 2 days better then feeling like I have not done good, so I will keep at it, Thursaday I plan to fast as Chad has a job interview on Friday and I want the best for him so I will spend extra time in prayer instead of eating. It would be a great job for him, any job would he is a great kid. Psalm 26 blessed me today, this is the ESV version. I love the Lords word
26:1 Vindicate me, O Lord,
for I have walked in my integrity,
and I have trusted in the Lord without wavering.
Prove me, O Lord, and try me;
test my heart and my mind. 
For your steadfast love is before my eyes,
and I walk in your faithfulness.
I do not sit with men of falsehood,
nor do I consort with hypocrites.
I hate the assembly of evildoers,
and I will not sit with the wicked.
I wash my hands in innocence
and go around your altar, O Lord,
proclaiming thanksgiving aloud,
and telling all your wondrous deeds.
O Lord, I love the habitation of your house
and the place where your glory dwells.
Do not sweep my soul away with sinners,
nor my life with bloodthirsty men,
10 in whose hands are evil devices,
and whose right hands are full of bribes.
11 But as for me, I shall walk in my integrity;
redeem me, and be gracious to me.
12 My foot stands on level ground;
in the great assembly I will bless the Lord.

Oh Lord thank for this day to  serve you!