I has been a week since I have written, Can't figure out why I don't each day. My blood sugars are so responding well, they are under 150 every morning with several mornings being 117 and in the low 120's more then not, so I am so thankful for that, it is such a good thing, I hated the feeling of having it be to high. My appointment is still scheduled for August 2 to start looking seriously into the lap band, my back has hurt so badly lately that I know the only way to get it somewhat better is to be thinner, I know it can't fix the damage , but every one says it will help. The last few days have been hard, some are worse then others, doing dishes is torture, Wish there was a way to fix the dishwasher.
But I have been trying hard not to lift like the Dr said.
Been reading and have read and devoured the book " The Call to the Wall" and am now reading one on fasting. SO excited to see what God is gonna do In my life. I so want more of Jesus and to be more like him. So I have a meeting with my kids klub staff tonight and am so excited , God is so going to do so much in these kids.
So I am off to finish my notes and see what I can make my man for dinner.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
He is
I know God is doing something in our lives, and I know He has our best interest at heart, I tend to not be patient, or lately to motivated to continue the same things, I want change, not sure where, IN.ME. for one, I want to be all God has called me. I am feeling , blessed, excited, stretched , and a bit anxious and frustrated with the new program I will be starting with Kids Klub, I hate when there are Internet glitches, and that is the only problem right now, but I want to also do it all PERFECT. I want these kids to have the best.
I have set up my first appointment to look into the lap band, that has me totally nervous and wondering if it is the Lord or I am lazy, for I don't want the easy out. I know it still won't be easy but I am still working so hard to lose, know that menopause has come early I am freaked by that. it makes me feel like I have lost even more time.....and that I will continue to be round all my life. pun intended. HOT FLASHES are evil that is all I have to say about that , in the famous words of Forest Gump.
I think Forest Gump is one of Ken's favorite movies just for the line," I love you Jenny"
He has been working extra hard, and we have gotten some time together when we are not to tired to interface, gosh I have no idea why I love that word, Our Dan taught it to me and I look for reasons to use it lately.
Can I now blame all my goofy thinking on menopause, hmmm I know for so many years it was the blonde thing in me, wow what if now it is both?
I have been missing chocolate, but have not really had a carb missing time, so that is nice, have been balancing the 3 meals and think I am doing OK.
SO every day is another step and that is all I can do is keep walking it..
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Well....
WOW so much for getting here every day, yesterday I spent the day learning and enjoying learning about the new curriculum I will be using Wednesday nights at church, it is called 252 basics, and I am finding it amazing.
I have gotten my morning blood sugars down some again the past two mornings so I am feeling really good about that, it means I have been watching closely what I am eating and though I still need to be stricter, per myself, it is showing in those numbers and that is a huge relief to me.
So I will keep on doing what I am doing, keep a couple appointments I have this week and go from there, Got a migraine today so oh my I am thankful for spell check, it is actually funny how many words I have written backwards and misspelled.
Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad!
I have gotten my morning blood sugars down some again the past two mornings so I am feeling really good about that, it means I have been watching closely what I am eating and though I still need to be stricter, per myself, it is showing in those numbers and that is a huge relief to me.
So I will keep on doing what I am doing, keep a couple appointments I have this week and go from there, Got a migraine today so oh my I am thankful for spell check, it is actually funny how many words I have written backwards and misspelled.
Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
A long time
Been so long since I have wrote on here, it is wild, been busy with new life goals and as always Kids klub at church being a big thing on my heart. Oh how excited I am to continue to see these kids grow in their love for Jesus.
I have decided to document my weight lose journey on here so every day I will try and write something, I have had such terrible blood sugars and so I have been working on getting them lower and very strict following my diet the last couple days has brought them down some. I hate the roller coaster of emotions that come with blood sugar levels going up and down like crazy.
Oh how I admire my newphew who is 5 and had diabetes since he was 3 , he is learning to understand his little body, check his sugars and it is all part of his normal routine , he is so cute and sweet.
So I need to lose this weight and am even considering the Lab Band surgery as something needs to be done sooner or later, my health is showing it now and it makes me sad that I have sinned and let myself go so terribly, I know this hernia and groin muscle tear is the last straw. I want to feel good and this is serious business.
So though it will be tough, I will make it through this. will find a way to post a starting picture and updated ones as they happen.
Accountability, that is what this will be.
I have decided to document my weight lose journey on here so every day I will try and write something, I have had such terrible blood sugars and so I have been working on getting them lower and very strict following my diet the last couple days has brought them down some. I hate the roller coaster of emotions that come with blood sugar levels going up and down like crazy.
Oh how I admire my newphew who is 5 and had diabetes since he was 3 , he is learning to understand his little body, check his sugars and it is all part of his normal routine , he is so cute and sweet.
So I need to lose this weight and am even considering the Lab Band surgery as something needs to be done sooner or later, my health is showing it now and it makes me sad that I have sinned and let myself go so terribly, I know this hernia and groin muscle tear is the last straw. I want to feel good and this is serious business.
So though it will be tough, I will make it through this. will find a way to post a starting picture and updated ones as they happen.
Accountability, that is what this will be.
Friday, June 24, 2011
He is officially engaged
Christopher called and he and Rosella are officially engaged, WOW, I wish he understood how wild this is for me, I will always see my boy in the men they have become, and of course I found a song that says it all. Raising my two boys was a challenge I would do over and over again, and Oh boys know I am so proud of you both, and Rosella, what a joy to know you will be daughter-in-law, I love you so much already.
A Journey
Wish I could say it was through mountains, or a wild African trip, but it is a book, It is By Mike Bickle " The pleasures of Loving God" and some of it I have loved and others not related to as well, I love the part of falling more in Love with the Lord, and seeing him as a bride waits for her bridegroom to anticipate my time with him with such love, reverence and Awe, and the part on intercession, I LOVE PRAYING, I love praying for other's, I just love to talk to the Lord. Mom would say I just love to talk, and boy am I grateful I have a heavenly Father who is always willing to listen. 24/7
Today is one of those days where I feel I can't do much but pray , everything hurts, ever joint feels like it is gonna give out, even the TMJ is so bad, hmmm no talking.
Ken is putting in a long day at work as we have had so much rain that he has not been able to, he is building a pergola.. which after pretending I knew what it was for a couple days finally caved and asked, it is an out side kitchen... fridge, sinks cupboards everything. It will be beautiful I am sure, God has given him such talent.
And we have the whole house to our selves, the kids are up to Duluth for a family wedding on their side, and so I hope we can have time together to enjoy it, already planned Ken's dinner so that is ready.
On the grandson front, they call me well Mommy is making dinner and Mr Ben, the almost 2 year old already went down the deck steps, so Elliot went after him, and listening to him scold his little brother was so dang cute, ' He calls him to come several times and then counts to three, the whole time Ben is saying , NO , so Elliot says, "fine I will go up with out you" I am so laughing, and as Elliot is walking up the stairs, he says" he is following me now grandma he knows when to listen"
Oh how we miss these boys, Found Ken looking at their house on google maps and being teary, and missing them, We knew when they left Ben would grow so fast, but his little hair cut has made him totally look like a big boy, oh how we love them.
Well I think I will go find some Tylenol and pray and try and get this pain to go away a bit, last night I had such a burden for the lost and lonely. Oh their are so many who need to know the Lord , I don't want to feel like a whiner cause I have Fibro , cause I have the greatest thing ever a relationship with the Lord. I love music so will end with this one.
Today is one of those days where I feel I can't do much but pray , everything hurts, ever joint feels like it is gonna give out, even the TMJ is so bad, hmmm no talking.
Ken is putting in a long day at work as we have had so much rain that he has not been able to, he is building a pergola.. which after pretending I knew what it was for a couple days finally caved and asked, it is an out side kitchen... fridge, sinks cupboards everything. It will be beautiful I am sure, God has given him such talent.
And we have the whole house to our selves, the kids are up to Duluth for a family wedding on their side, and so I hope we can have time together to enjoy it, already planned Ken's dinner so that is ready.
On the grandson front, they call me well Mommy is making dinner and Mr Ben, the almost 2 year old already went down the deck steps, so Elliot went after him, and listening to him scold his little brother was so dang cute, ' He calls him to come several times and then counts to three, the whole time Ben is saying , NO , so Elliot says, "fine I will go up with out you" I am so laughing, and as Elliot is walking up the stairs, he says" he is following me now grandma he knows when to listen"
Oh how we miss these boys, Found Ken looking at their house on google maps and being teary, and missing them, We knew when they left Ben would grow so fast, but his little hair cut has made him totally look like a big boy, oh how we love them.
Well I think I will go find some Tylenol and pray and try and get this pain to go away a bit, last night I had such a burden for the lost and lonely. Oh their are so many who need to know the Lord , I don't want to feel like a whiner cause I have Fibro , cause I have the greatest thing ever a relationship with the Lord. I love music so will end with this one.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Random thoughts from a tired mind
I love this song and found it again so fitting this afternoon as I walked into the court house and it was raining," Lord what good was coming from all this, I want to believe that it will all work out and that, you will have your way fixing it and you will be glorified, but it hurts so much sometimes"
As always you provide the strength to get me through, and I know that your will is what I want in all this and for those I love.
I am so thankful that the trial for Chad's attacker is over, and that justice will be served there and he feels some closure, and he knows you and knows that he has to forgive, I am so glad at least I know our kids know you Lord. Though they have to walk their own lives and there lives will have pain and disappointments, so not what I wanted, I always want to give them a life that is easy and not painful....But what if they need all this to know you more, and follow you... Oh that is my prayer that my children are so in love with you Lord, as I am .
Father's day is coming and it is painful this year as I have befriended the boys Peterson side of the family on face book, and their oldest sister has posted a picture of her dad for Father's day, and seeing him, with his race car, the thing he choose over us is so very hard, HE .WANTED. A. CAR. more then us!?!?!? How do you register that? I can't and I look at the boys and think, how do they, with what they are going through in life right now shows they so didn't handle it or his death so well, So I cry and pray that some how they will heal, I know they can choose to, and they say they want to, but it comes to patience for this momma as I want them to do what I think is best, and they are young men now, not my beautiful babies, still beautiful I think, but not babies, they are husband and husband to be, they are hard workers, they know they have to work to make it in life, they don't look for hand outs, They are funny and loving and respectful, they know that life isn't always easy. So part of me feels like I did OK raising them, yet I always doubt myself, and I hate that I see a picture and I ask it "WHY" I will never get answers, But I love where God has brought me to , and I love my Kenny, I just need To know that the Lord has healed so much in me and will continue to as long as I let him, He will be with me, and teach me and walk it all with me. Even though I will have tears, and sleepless nights that tire this old brain, He loves me and I stand in that, that God is good all the time.
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