Tuesday, July 17, 2012

5 months

WOW it seems like forever, I basically have adjusted to this is my life and this is how I will eat for the rest of it.
I am at 205 and so excited to be in the 100's soon. It has been so very long, sometimes I can't believe this is happening. I have waited so long for it to and now it is.
It is not the easy way out that is for sure, I still eat very little, I am getting over feeling funny at functions with food, it is OK to socialize and eat a bit and not feel "looked at".
I am still not seeing myself as smaller though I am, I just need to work on my brain more. I think I have always been a nice person, some one who loves easily and wants the best for others, so I have not changed that . Just the size of my body. Got  a few more clothes from my sister so I feel that I have enough for the summer, and that is nice, and now I may break down and by undergarments. Yep those are important, and just not working anymore.
I pretty much know what to avoid, and can now say I rarely vomit, I have added new things and am excited about that. I can try pretty much anything, in small amounts and be OK. It is great, still no eggs or chicken, but I am not ruling out the future.
I am once again after getting better with my back, in a bind with it, it is so unstable and is out and causing so much pain, and so little activity, I totally hate that , I so want to be more active, it gets a bit depressing, but I know who holds my future and He has my best interest at heart.
The babe in the house is 2 months old now, and getting so big, he is a pretty great little guy, he keeps us all busy , busy , busy, but it is a good busy.Oh and when he smiles the whole world is brighter at least that is what this grandma thinks.

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