Wednesday, December 21, 2011

On the weight front

Boy it seems forever since I have written about my weight journey, got to go see my favorite dietitian ever today, the girl just rocks.
After back  surgery I was terribly set back with the fluid retention in my leg, 9 pounds, it was scary, I have really not been able to exercise, just am starting to walk a bit straighter, but trying hard none the less.But gaining when losing was the goal was a terrible feeling especially when there was nothing I could do but wait and see.
I had noticed over  the last few days cloths starting to fit different, and I was right, I have only 5 pounds to go, doesn't mean I will stop, the more I can lose before hand the better of a start I will be giving myself.
I love this journey, I have tried everything and nothing in my life has worked, and so with Christmas almost gone, and not having even had one of my moms cookies yet, I am feeling like I won't be gaining this holiday season.
I just can't wait till January, I was to see the surgeon on the 29th of this month and set a date, and they had to change it, which is fine as with the fluid retention and pain still, I was not sure when it would leave, so now being back to the losing road is great.
So with 15 pound down ,5 to go and hopefully more, I continue to practice chewing 25-30 times, with each bite, it is boring, I tell ya.but seeing the results is wonderful.I just can't wait to pass that 20 pound mark! I am gonna hug everyone in my path.

Saturday, December 17, 2011


I have a dear friend who called today to chat, we usually pray together once a week and have not had time the last several weeks so it was  a time of catching up and encouragement and blessing.
She asked what was holding me to an area that I have been struggling with, and I told her at first it was cause you know the saying if you don't deal it with it now you will have to deal with it again? Well that was the advice I had gotten from some.I know I have forgiven, I know time heals and I KNOW God is in control and as I brought it all before Him , He so clearly showed me I would yes go through things like this again, as they are so big to teach it all at once would be to big for me, He showed me it was like a runner as you run you build muscle, but you can't expect it to stay if you don't continue, you sweat, and get out "junk" .But I need to keep running towards Him for more teaching, He sees each tear and knows there is sorrow and joy in each one. But if I truly desire to be like Him and I do , I need to take what He is teaching and put it to action, and so I try and pray I am doing as He desires. And I pray these teachings go deep into my soul so I can not only learn but help others, for life is full of hard things. I have always wondered why people with hard times have been drawn to me , what have I for them? Jesus showed me, even though I am not where I want to be, when I have been through things I can share what He shows and continues to show and work on in me, and yes sometimes, He allows us to go through it again and again, not as punishment for getting it wrong, but as a reward, for at the end is His glory.

Matthew 11:29-30 Jesus said "Take my yoke upon you  and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Thursday, December 15, 2011


Lately I have been thinking so much about Joy, I suppose with Christmas coming you hear it so much more.
Pastor asked us what do we do with Christmas on Dec 26th, and other dates.

So I started thinking Joy, really deep down joy not just happy but always joyful even in bad, hard times or pain.

I went back to the first time I kissed my newborns head oh the Joy, multiply that being the Lord and loving us, WOW. He loved His son yet sent him away to be among men for us, I have an empty nest not the same, but no longer will you hear this girl say she is to lonely for her children. though I will miss them, at least I am blessed to be with them and see them when possible.
I prayed with Christopher today and tears streamed down my face, tears of love and joy, he listened to what the Lord had been sharing with me and said "Oh I love you momma"
He and I are both learning that pain in the offering sometimes makes it so much sweeter, and the offering God gave was  ultimate,
When I compare everything in my life with what Jesus went through it is so small , I know everyone says it, but it has been so revealed lately it is not just a saying, to me anymore.
I know I have been a Christian for a long time and this should all come easy, but I find too, I love that people are different as the body of Christ we are huge and needed in different areas. I don't want to be a cookie cutter Christan I want to be like Jesus.
So having been learning , There is Joy on the mountain tops or valleys if we choose, life is a series of choices, like an addict will tell you each day is a choice, so is the Christian life, will we serve with Joy, and keep it if everything goes wrong? if the car breaks?, if Lord forbid we lose a love one?
Joy for me doesn't mean I am happy that the car is broke, or someone dies, but that I have a Joy that no one or thing can take, Deep down in my heart is a joy that can't go away, even if I lose everything and everyone, as it has been paid for with the highest price, the Death of my Lord and King Jesus.
I can't be whiny if I don't get my way, I have to trust that Jesus is in control and I can keep my joy. There will be many a times I do get  my way and I pray I find them as blessings and not take even a moment for granted.
There will be days I feel pain,in my  heart and body, but those days I have joy, given to me, not earned, by my Love Jesus. I pray, I don't whine and Jesus gives me ways to minister through the pain to others.
I pray in all ways I can minister for Him as He calls , whether it be a phone call, note, or just a smile at a stranger in some way I want to bless others.
I pray that Jesus gives me so many doors open to talk aobut Him... For He died and rose to give me life
And I pray I continue to learn and grow deeper in love and stronger with Jesus. I am so thankful to not be alone, and to have the best pilot running my life. I love where He is taking me, and this journey with Him is filled with suprises, I know He has so much more to show and teach me and I can't wait.