Sunday, February 26, 2012

Getting the hang of this....

I think I am finally getting the routine and hang of eating the way I am suppose to and making sure I get in the protein, plus variety to keep me more then full. I am almost up to a 1/2 cup of food at meal times, I drink a protein shake between meals and also lots of water.
Today is the first day I have felt really really good. the infection, allergic stuff is winding down, and my tummy looks 100% better.
My blood sugar readings have been awesome... Now if I could sleep through the night.
Last night I made myself lay here and I did fall back to sleep so I am glad for that. As they want you to follow a routine of eating.
Which was hard to do when I am awake from 2-5am, and wanna go back to bed and don't care about breakfast or food in the least.
There is really something to hunger.. so much of it was in my head. As I don't feel physical hunger. I love it,and I love learning to control my thoughts.
I have noticed I can smell better, now that is the weirdest thing, I have had bad sinus's forever and really not had a great since of smell,boy has that changed.
SO , I am just so grateful for the chance to do this and change my life and live a more healthy  and productive one.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

My life since the 14th

So I woke up the morning of the 14th, showered again with the special soap, did my hair, didn't use enough hairspray, but hey I knew they would have Oxygen in the surgery room and I didn't want to blow up. :)
Got to the hospital at 9am, and was taken to the prep room, everyone was nice and it was actually very calming, met with the surgeon, and everyone who would be in the OR that day, lots of people, WOW.
Best part when they finally let Ken come back we got a few minutes to talk and then he had to give me my hug and kiss as they were taking me away.
Upon entering the OR I still was not super nervous. It was the Peace I had asked the Lord to  give me, I truly don't remember anyone telling me I was gonna fall asleep now, BUT I woke up after it was over, it had gone well, and well lets say the pain was crazy, and it made me so fearful. Soon as I brought to Ken and able to have him call my parents, his parents and Pastor and His wife, to pray, I started to feel so much better, the fear left, I was able to get control with the pain meds, and with in hours was walking, I walked twice on the 2nd shift and once in the middle of the night.
My roomate was 2 years in to her gastric by-pass, so that was cool she was in for an injury, from lifting at work. But I don't want to say to much to invade her life. Though it was great to have a seasoned vet able to give me tips on things.
I think I had great nurses they answered all my questions and were so kind and cheerful.
By the next day I had to go down for a Barium swallow study, which I passed no leaks so I was able to have some clear liquids , which would be my diet for the next 8 days.
I also got checked for a blood clots, as after my last walk I started having more swelling in my ankle and calf. I retained so much fluid and had such poor out put, But once the pulled the Foley cath, my body kicked in and did it's thing.Once the Foley was out I was able to manage walks by myself so I spent allot of time walking, learning, they have OT come see you , and the dietitian, the DR for my blood sugars, and since I had not gotten allot of sleep basic none, I took a great nap. Ken slept in the chair, I swear there is something to knowing he is sleeping and his snore puts me out.
So by the 16th they were planning on having me go home, we spent the day just getting things ready and waiting for the DR. I got to take a shower and hang and watch movies and take walks.
the Dr was not out of surgery till, after 5pm so we were late getting home and just basically went right to bed. It was so great to be home! I got up to go to the rest room the first night and one of the steri strips came off, OK seeing your stomach that open makes you yell loud for help, Ken got me bandaged back up but I noticed blisters under the steri strips, hmmm not to good, I called in the morning and they said I need to try and leave them on as long as possible so Ok, the next night, what happens, I was dreaming and rolled out of bed landing on  my tummy on the floor. Called the Dr again, and they said if the wounds were closed I was fine, and so I continued my liquid diet and Monday the 19th the nurse let me take off the steri strips as it was so itchy I just could not handle it and I had hives and bruising all over. Had my pre-op on the 22nd, and they figured I have a wound infection, so I am on antibiotics for that. I was able to start pureed diet yesterday but have laid low today as the stomach welts are still growing and are bruising still. But I still don't regret my decision. I feel OK , I have not been hungry,and seem to be tolerating things well.
If this itching would just go away I think things would be great. So now it is just giving things time to heal, walking as much as I can , and trying to get in enough liquids. Thinking I should be plenty busy.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Home again

So I went in on Tuesday the 14th and was home the evening of the 16th. So much to write but need to get my words and thoughts in order.
I was just so blessed to have so many praying. I know it helped, the Dr's even saw such a difference.
What a blessing to know the Ultimate Physician personally.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Final Count Down.

24 hours from now I will be in my room recovering. WOW I can't believe it has been six months, I can't believe all I have learned, all I have not eaten LOL . Even on day two of clear liquids I am doing OK as I know the out come. It is all going to lead to better health, less meds, less back pain as having all this weight has made it so hard to get totally healed and straight. I will start PT again as soon as they allow so I can get more core strength and start an exercise program.
Am I a bit nervous yes, only cause I don't know the pain that will be there. I like to be strong, but I am believing it can not be worse then the back surgery. That I don't want to do again.
I am so encouraged by all the notes of encouragement I have gotten today. Even Dietitian J sent one, and everyone is so happy and praying for me. So many feel I can do this, I hate when I am asked why I waited so long.It had to be my time. I truly believe that, as if it wasn't I would not have been able to lose and keep doing all I needed to do.
It has been a long life of being over weight, since I was like 3 I was chubby in high school and thinned out some in my late teens early 20's then I started getting pregnant and kept weight on after each pregnancy even the ones that ended in loss of my child..
Then start adding meds for depression and up went the weight.How I allowed myself to get this big I will never understand.
But I must stop beating myself up and forgive myself as I have asked God to forgive me.
And start tomorrow as a new beginning and trust it is going to be a great journey. I am so thankful Ken is coming along for this. He has been so super supportive, and though he has yet to pack,  :0) ( he is staying with his daughter who lives near the hospital) I know he loves and believes this is right and will be there for me always. We are bringing the computer, so if  I am up to it I will updated.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

2 days till take off!

Spent the day with errands, got all the lists done, visited my parents, and then Chris and Rosella came and had dinner with us and did some wedding planning. It has  been a great day. Tiff was home from the hospital and resting well. IT is nice to have seen everyone. Tomorrow starts the clear liquids only diet.
I got to chat with my aunt in MI today, and she has been thinking of having the surgery also , so I got to answer allot of questions for her, and it was just fun to talk and laugh with her. I am blessed to have her praying for me and supporting me so.
I am so thankful for all the friend and family support. God is so good!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Pre-op day

So today I had my pre-op, There are no tasks left to do on my task list, it is wild, I have to start a clear liquid diet Sunday through Monday. Tomorrow I will go see my parents again for a bit , as it will be awhile before I can go there.
Still praying for my daughter-in-law who is in the hospital, with some flu complications, being pregnant made her more vulnerable.Went to visit her today and she is feeling some better and the baby is well.
My other son is coming for a visit.So I am doing last minute visiting for awhile all weekend.
It will be fun and full.
Total weight loss was at 28 pounds today. So encouraged, So thankful that this journey is life long and I have so very much support.
So forward we go!

Thursday, February 9, 2012

4 days left

In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. ~Psalm 5:3

Today I am waiting, My daughter-in law, who lives with us and is pregnant got my flu, only it dehydrated her badly, as she is needing to hydrated for two so she is in the hospital and I have been praying lots for her. While writing this I got a call from my son who said her kidneys are doing better and she may get to be home tomorrow. Oh how I am praying God's healing touch on her. 

Spoke with the surgery nurse this morning and got that all settled, I am to be at the hospital at 9am. So glad as we live a bit away and I didn't want it to be 5 am. I will take an 11;00am surgery any day.
She was so kind and answered all my questions plus more. So I am doing this. I can't explain the amazing peace I have. Thank you Lord.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

6 to go

Not much happening today but I wanna keep up with my thoughts. I wrote the living will like they asked. Not that I expect problems, nor do they I am just at that age!!! I really gotta so get done and over the age issues, I have reviewed my wishes with Ken and the Kids and updated, the Best Pastor Ever and His wife of my wishes.
Tomorrow is  PT day and I think I am doing well. at least I feel well. I hope she sees it the same way. She also wanted me to note PT does not stand for Physical torture, and at no time has she pushed me that far. Though she might, I love you PT girl S. Thanks for being part of this journey I call life!

Monday, February 6, 2012

Only 7 more days

WOW, it is moving fast, but I feel like I have been preparing for it so much that it is not freaking me out or anything, went over some paper work with my Dr's nurse today in regards to my pre-op physical on Friday.
Had the worse stomach bug yesterday, I felt it coming Saturday afternoon I just felt off, and sure enough Sunday morning was it's take off.
I am mostly bummed as I missed church. Hubby was good and got me clear liquids all  day and today I got up did PT exercises and some dusting , still not hungry, but everything I do drink is staying down.

I am so set on trying to feel better and "normal" ASAP, after surgery. Since this will be me and who I am for the rest of my life, I don't want to baby myself to much . I know I need to rest to heal, but I wanna be up and moving also.

We have so many lists to do. Maybe I am a bit freaked as Kenny is trying to get lots done and I can't go get things done with out a car, but I know we will, he has looked at all my lists and feels he can get it all done, well see. He is a bit better at organizing then I so I will trust him here.

At church we started Beth Moore's Breaking Free Bible study, been working on that it is awesome, God is so good!

Saturday, February 4, 2012

9 or 10 but who's counting

Well surgery is the 14th so that is 10 days, but I have to be ready before then so I am thinking it is day 9 right?!?!?!?!!?
Have lists all made and plans to go spend some time with my parents before surgery.
Will do some shopping tomorrow and get things ordered the pharmacy  may not have.
So stepping forward. I have no desire to really pig out, I wanna keep eating right and less so when I am not
eating it is natural to me. My sister thinks I should party to the end and I think that isn't what I am to do so I will stay working on calorie counting so, when I am not able to eat I don't miss it as much. I think if I went on a chocolate binge and then had to re stop that would be bad, it is like an addiction, you just have to stay away.
So since I know my weakness I will listen to my body and to what the Lord has laid on my heart. WOW in a week.... Can't believe it is finally here.

Friday, February 3, 2012

11 days but who's counting

It seems there is lots to get ready, yet nothing to do but wait too. I have lists of all I will need to get before going in, and we will get that done, Ken has been busy trying to finish last minute work, so he can be with me, I was surprised and blessed by how much time he told people he was taking off. He is PT patrol and loves it I do believe, he calls to make sure I am getting my stretches in and when he is home helps with the ones PT showed him how to do.
I spent hours researching protein powders, how fun is that. I think we have settled on one we like and feel comfortable with. Protein is so important and yet to get in enough if I can add it to things that will be great.  Because it is impossible at first to get in as much as they want and hey I like my hair, and do want to keep it.
My sister went down and meet my Dr and" love love loved him" so I am glad we will be having our surgeries at the same place and same Dr so we can really support each other, I will have mine first but it looks like she is only a couple weeks behind me so we can help each other through those first couple weeks, that is so awesome how it turned out.
I am so blessed to have so much family support. I know that will help in the forever part of this.
Now I am just avoiding anyone with colds.. Yep MN in the winter that should be easy,. :)

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

13 more days

I meet with my wonderful dietitian, J today, she is and has been my go to girl, my cheerleader, and my no girl when needed, we did it . not only did I lose the required 20 I lost 24, I could of cried, it seemed like an impossible task last September, a person who can't lose weight , wanting surgery for a tool to help them is now needing to lose, I must admit I just had so many doubts in myself, but I knew this was my time to do this, I knew I had my families support and I felt total peace from the Lord to go ahead and do it.
Yesterday and today the Lord has laid this verse so upon my heart "Trust in the Lord with all your heart;do not depend on your own understanding.Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."
Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT
I know God has given me this path, I know in the past I resisted as I wanted it to be me working hard, and didn't want to take an easy road, well this won't be an easy road, and each day I will continue to learn more about myself, and self control and patience. It will actually be very hard some days. but I walk not alone, and I pray it makes me a kinder, gentler, more loving person, I pray the Lord can some how use all the years of feeling less then others cause of  my weight to fly me to new heights in His love for me and who I am in Him and the importance of that above and beyond anything here.
That people not look at me and see only that I have lost weight but that I love Jesus more and more every day, and if they don't know Him, Oh how I am praying they will ask so I can share about my Precious Lord, for he loved me and formed me in m y mothers womb, and He knew the day would come where I would be right where I am.
Oh thank you Dietitan J I love you!