The one month a week late appointment

So it was my one month visit at the surgery center, and I have lost 14.7 pounds, since surgery. All my wounds are healed and I still have a week to wait to lift more then 10# but that is OK.
I meet with the dietitian who said to start soft foods today and in 2 weeks start eating regular food , yet no more then 1/2 cup. So excited. Lunch was some imitation crab meat and it was so great to bite and chew. 
As always it is great to spend time with my man all day like this. This was the first time we have been there , been seen and out in less then 45 minutes, it was great. I liked seeing the surgeon again. He is so very personable, and always so willing to answer questions and teach. He just shakes his head as you tell him all the meds you have been able to give up, for me that is 2 different things for diabetes, with the 3rd being at very minimal doses and almost ready to be discontinued, and 2 pills for my acid reflux, my cholesterol med  and my neurontin ( which I take for my fibro so I may one day need to restart), and I am off  Inderal which I took for tremors and headaches as my blood pressure is so nice and low, high blood pressure has never been an issue for me.  So all in all it has been a great 5 weeks, and a journey I have made for life.So there is no running, just walking each day and believing that I am doing my best to take care of myself and keep myself healthy and as always Willing to do what ever the Lord calls me to.
I was so blessed to chat with my roommate from the hospital last night, she is doing well and asked for prayers for some other issues she is having, so I was so encouraged she would ask me to pray for her. I have learned to try as much as possible when people ask for prayer to pray with them right on the spot. I just love loving on people. And find it a honor to be asked to pray for someone.

Gonna end with a Psalm again today from Psalm143, verse10a, 'Teach me to do thy will, For thou art my God'

A day

So I did it, I got my room super clean, scary for  me actually. It looks so good. Now to not be a pack rat and put clothes away right after folding them, that is the new goal for this room. I can't even get started on any other room of this house it gets me to down. It has been way to long.
Well there is a working treadmill in my living room, Thank you Lord, easy fix, a pen was in it and that is what made the noise, but since it was up in a corner of our very messy room, my honey could not get it down to look at it. So glad that He and Chad could get it downstairs and it was so easy to fix!!!!
A wise man once told me keep the room you are in the most clean and tidy and it will lift your spirits, since it seems I spend most time here in the bedroom, I will try that out. After cleaning I can hardly move, I just can not get over having a back like this.

But I thought it would be fun to write what I eat in a day. I am a creature of habit so I have not put to much variety in the puree part of my diet, tomorrow on the other hand, I start soft foods, and have already planed meals for at least a week to eat with my family, It will be great.

So for breakfast depending on how fast I need to leave the house I have
A cup of carnation instant breakfast, it takes about 45 minutes to drink, but then I can take my morning meds before I go and get ready well sipping away.
Other days it is about 1/4-1/3 cup Greek yogurt, I love the stuff, sometimes I will add a oz or 2 of banana or applesauce, I just can not get breakfast down, I tried eggs, and they just were to hard for me, I will revisit them again in the future I am sure

Lunch, is usually a pureed 1/2 cup of soup.

After waiting the 30 minutes after each meal I start sipping water I sip all day and get in 48 oz , so that is good.

Mid afternoon, I have have a protein shake, meaning 1/2 c

Supper has been really basic. !/4 c cottage cheese and 1/4 c re fried beans, it takes 1/2 hour to eat it and sometimes I can't get it all down, but at least between the shakes and other protein foods I am getting almost 50 grams of protein in a day goal is 60 so I am encouraged about that.
Then 30 minutes later I go back to sipping that water

And right before bed I drink the other half of my mid day protein shake, I have found this hold my blood sugars over really well through the night and I wake up with less nausea.

Morning blood sugars have been under 100 for a week. so I am waiting for my Dr to get back from vacation to let me know what to do . It is wild to think of not being diabetic anymore.I have loved the decrease in my meds. Been a totally great thing for my life.

So now that I have sat and now have my back frozen in this position I am off to do some PT exercises.

Psalm 126:3 The Lord has done great things for us , we are glad, NASB

Learning to walk

My mom says I walked young, like at 9 months. And I find myself wanting to RUN through life, figuring if I run and hurry and get things done, get things done and then I can rest.... Or I avoid it.
I started PT today and that lets run feeling kicked in and wanting to have my back better right NOW.  I am glad that I am not wanting to avoid things, but I have found I can't rush through this. I need to get better and stronger, and I want it to be for life, not just for a moment, and I don't want to rest, I want to live it each day and not avoid.  So I continue to take one day of dieting and exercise at a time, Since surgery I can't avoid it , which I love. A journey to walk through and learn each day something new.
My treadmill is up and working .... so excited to get going on that . Also my one month recheck appointment is Friday, which will mean I will see how much I have lost on their scale, and a move to soft foods, I am so ready to have something to chew. So I will update with weight loss and what I learn Friday, after I see them.

30 Days later

Wow I can not believe it has been a month already. In many ways this feels normal, a new normal. A good normal. I have been able to get in 48oz of fluid plus a day which is a big thing, and I am tolerating the 3 small meals a day better and better every day.
My blood sugars have been under 100 the last few mornings so it is almost time to update the Dr on that. It is amazing. I am eating to live , not living to eat. I am learning my emotional triggers and with the help of not feeling hunger learning to deal with them and stress just a whole lot different.
I can truly say this has been hard at times, and yet the best thing I have done for myself in a long long time.
I have been avoiding the scale. I just can not bring myself to look. I kinda want to then, something comes up and I forget. Which is fine, with weigh in being next week I kinda wanna be surprised, I was like that pregnant to I wanted to wait till my baby got here to know what it was. I know my clothes are getting bigger, and my chest is getting smaller. I was way to big to begin with so I really don't care about that at all.
The weather here has been so wonderful. I was able to get out yesterday and walk a bit, I had the Dr give me something to get me through till PT as moving was just getting to painful, and just that little bit of relief has made a huge difference.
Been able to do more around the house, I am cleaning my own kitchen, I make my own meals, and I have even started making my honey's meals again, the ones he loves . He is such a potato man, give him potato's in white sauce and veggies and he is happy for days. How he stays thin I will never understand.... But it is better for his body, he isn't a big snacker and doesn't eat under emotional stress.I think that is a big thing to my being heavy. So glad I have started working through these issues.

I love music it is such a comfort to my heart, soul and spirit. This one has been blessing my socks off lately. God is calling us by NAME,I am His and He loves little old me,WOW. I am so amazed by His love.. ENJOY

Almost a month

It has been almost a month since surgery. I am doing well with the diet, have had a few things that didn't agree with me, but for the most part am handling things well. I have discovered I can do this and I have more confidence in myself then ever.
I so love the Lord, I love this song, cause most of all in life I want more and more of the Lord, I want to live as He directs, and help people. I want to abide in HIM.

I have  been getting out and doing some more with my honey. It some days feels like spring here and others still winter. So energy wise I am well. and that is a plus. Can't wait to restart PT the old back is crooked and needs some help. We spent the afternoon with family and I watched  them bowl and we had a party for my great nephew who turned 2. He is such a little cutie. Next time I hope to be healed enough to bowl. it was a fun afternoon. And my first time with cake around and I had my water bottle and didn't feel I was missing out at all which is great.It was just an awesome family time and I so enjoyed it.
No appointments this week, but the one after is full with PT and to see the surgeon again for follow up. I am excited to see where I am at . I have really been trying not to get on the scale, I know the clothes feel bigger, and I even fit into a smaller sweater last week. SO excited to see what their scale will show.And it will mean on to a soft diet, that I can get ready for , puree can be kinda boring.
So tomorrow is another fun day gonna do a young girl from churches hair, and we are going out to the movies.
Life goes on, good, different and always an adventure.

Not a cure but a tool.

This surgery in no way "cures' me of being over weight, severely overweight at that. It is a tool to help me though and one I am thankful I had the choice to have.
I so admire those who have lost 100 pounds and more with out having to do something like this. But for me it was and is the right thing.
I am still learning to eat slow enough, the small amounts are not a problem, but there are mental hunger issues, like seeing a good protein commercial, my head likes subway. my stomach right now way could not do it. But it is an area I am working on, learning to take every thought captive.
The spiritual journey of all this with the physical has been such an awesome time for me.
Has it been hard??? Heck ya, I had pain, I had an infection, and allergic reaction that made me want to itch my skin off, but what did I learn, I learned that my God is so big, He was there through it all holding me and comforting me, and preparing me and getting me through, He has helped me take my thoughts and keep them on Him, and on the goal. Not on me, or things going on around me, I have had to say no to stresses that usually I would of caved to, for fear of not making someone happy. But I am learning to be the best me I must take care of me. There is so much I want to do for the Lord, and I need to be ready and healthy and willing.
So I am setting a timer when I eat to make sure I am taking enough time to eat, If I go to fast I get some heartburn, and once even vomited, not fun, especially since it was only several bites, but it is important to learn to slow down.... I am a lets get it done and do it right girl, and this I can do right, but boy oh boy, do I need to take my time to get it done.
I am getting in 48oz of liquid a day in between meals , plus the protein shake so right now it feels as though all I am doing is eating or drinking. There is increased energy though, as I am not as tired during the day and am sleeping so much better at night . At each hurdle I get over I see the good.
I know this is not for everyone and I so respect that, and in no way would I ever push or encourage some one to do it with out really really looking into it and taking their time to think it through and get to talk to others and their Dr's first.
I have been blessed to have this working for me. And feel it was how my life is suppose to be right now , right here where I am at.
I am so blessed with so much support and encouragement, man oh man, the friends and family have been amazing to say the least.
This morning I am thanking the Lord for this journey in life and so thankful He walks with me.