Monday, February 13, 2012

Final Count Down.

24 hours from now I will be in my room recovering. WOW I can't believe it has been six months, I can't believe all I have learned, all I have not eaten LOL . Even on day two of clear liquids I am doing OK as I know the out come. It is all going to lead to better health, less meds, less back pain as having all this weight has made it so hard to get totally healed and straight. I will start PT again as soon as they allow so I can get more core strength and start an exercise program.
Am I a bit nervous yes, only cause I don't know the pain that will be there. I like to be strong, but I am believing it can not be worse then the back surgery. That I don't want to do again.
I am so encouraged by all the notes of encouragement I have gotten today. Even Dietitian J sent one, and everyone is so happy and praying for me. So many feel I can do this, I hate when I am asked why I waited so long.It had to be my time. I truly believe that, as if it wasn't I would not have been able to lose and keep doing all I needed to do.
It has been a long life of being over weight, since I was like 3 I was chubby in high school and thinned out some in my late teens early 20's then I started getting pregnant and kept weight on after each pregnancy even the ones that ended in loss of my child..
Then start adding meds for depression and up went the weight.How I allowed myself to get this big I will never understand.
But I must stop beating myself up and forgive myself as I have asked God to forgive me.
And start tomorrow as a new beginning and trust it is going to be a great journey. I am so thankful Ken is coming along for this. He has been so super supportive, and though he has yet to pack,  :0) ( he is staying with his daughter who lives near the hospital) I know he loves and believes this is right and will be there for me always. We are bringing the computer, so if  I am up to it I will updated.

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