Monday, September 19, 2011

I will Praise your name

Sitting at the kitchen table big deal for me as of lately that old ugly depression has reared it's ugly head, but it brought with it, lots of PTSD. And I let it take hold, of who I am, how I think, and cause me to hide.I love my bedroom, life basically stays away there. But I am excited, Ken and I are going to work on communication, it is one thing to talk and another to truly communicate. To allow both to have their voices   and not become over the top and go to bed for days.
I am also excited to see what I will have taken away from this time and what the Lord has been teaching me and  what  He will have me do with it, to help others I always hope that I can be of help to others.
Taking time off from Kids klub for a couple weeks to refocus, this is hard, I love the kids, and I love teaching them and miss them already, but if I am not the best me I can be,I can't give them the best and they need it so. That is the only thing I can hold on to as Satan would like me to feel like I have failed in some way, or that things will be better with out me and I would not be needed again. FEAR it can eat a person away, I am learning again and again, to not let it.
My sister has decided to have her stomach done with me, kinda like a biggest loser thing, she has less to lose, but is younger and has high blood pressure which I do not and so her health things are a need for her. . Excited for my appointment with the surgeon this week, I continue to work on the pre-surgery weigh loss, So thankful for this tool to help with this problem.Having Ken get a new leash for Rory so we can be out walking in this beautiful fall weather. Fall is my favorite season.

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